Archive for My sin
A New Definition of Perfection
My friend Kristen posted about a wedding sermon in which the pastor gave this definition of perfection. I’ve been meditating on this for weeks now and when I feel overwhelmed by my sinfulness I am encouraged and motivated. Instead of getting down and focusing on how impossible it is to reach perfection this side of eternity I’m reminded to actively pursue God rather than dwell on myself.
p.s. Warning: if you spend any amount of time reading Kristen’s blog, you will be inspired. She is an amazing example of perseverance in amazingly difficult circumstances!
“the incomparable riches of his grace”
As my due date approaches I’m having to daily (more like hourly) lay my anxieties at the feet of my Savior. Along with the joy and excitement that pregnancy has brought, I am constantly tempted to lose perspective and let fear and anxiety take over. This battle has been humbling and has left me feeling weary at times. I’m finding comfort in my Savior as I remember that the same God who is patiently bearing with me as I sin and lose perspective is the same God that patiently endured the sins of the world on the cross. His mercy and patience are unfathomable and I praise Him for this!
“When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me”
(From: Before the Throne of God above – Charity L. Bancroft – 1863)
Ephesians 2:4-7 “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.”
What Wondrous Love Is This?
While singing the hymn “What Wondrous Love Is This” in church yesterday I was extremely moved by the truth of the Gospel. The words “When I was sinking down beneath God’s righteous frown, Christ laid aside His crown for my soul” seemed to pierce my heart in a new way.
In my sin I was “sinking down” to a place of eternal destruction and God, in His great mercy, reached into my life and saved me! Sadly I can easily go through my day without this reality in the forefront of my mind.
Thank you Lord for your grace and mercy that brings sinners such as I to repentance and new life in you!
“What wondrous love is this, O my soul, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this that caused the Lord of bliss
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul,
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul.
When I was sinking down, sinking down, sinking down,
When I was sinking down, sinking down,
When I was sinking down beneath God’s righteous frown,
Christ laid aside His crown for my soul, for my soul,
Christ laid aside His crown for my soul.
To God and to the Lamb, I will sing, I will sing;
To God and to the Lamb, I will sing.
To God and to the Lamb Who is the great “I Am”;
While millions join the theme, I will sing, I will sing;
While millions join the theme, I will sing.
And when from death I’m free, I’ll sing on, I’ll sing on;
And when from death I’m free, I’ll sing on.
And when from death I’m free, I’ll sing and joyful be;
And through eternity, I’ll sing on, I’ll sing on;
And through eternity, I’ll sing on.”
William Walker
Myopic and Discontent
Lately I’ve been convicted that much of my sin occurs when I’m living with a myopic perspective. I’ve found myself frustrated lately because my body is too weak to get certain projects done that I would like to accomplish (the weakness isn’t new but I’ve been much more prone to discontentment). I am constantly realizing how quickly I can lose an eternal perspective and focus on myself. As a follower of Christ I am called to live a joyful contented life and Christ has given me everything I need for this in providing me with the Salvation of my soul.
I need you Lord to constantly help me to step back and find my contentment and joy in your love and grace! Please help me to delight greatly in you at all times.
Isaiah 61:10 “I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.”
Are you eating wind to satisfy your hunger?
Once again I’ve been humbled and challenged by the words of Jeremiah Burroughs. If I lived every moment in captured by this truth my heart would be saved a lot of heartache and confusion. In what ways are you “eating wind”?
“My brethren, the reason why you have not got contentment in the things of the world is not because you have not got enough of them–that is not the reason–but the reason is, because they are not things proportionable to that immortal soul of yours that is capable of God himself. Many men think that when they are troubled and have not got contentment it is because they have but a little in the world, and that if they had more then they should be content. That is just as if a man were hungry, and to satisfy his craving stomach he should gape and hold open his mouth to take in the wind, and then should think that the reason why he is not satisfied is because he has not got enough of the wind; no, the reason is because the thing is not suitable to a craving stomach.”
Pointing Myself To Christ
Recently the burdens I’ve been called to bare have felt extremely heavy. At times I am tempted to doubt God’s promises and wonder if they are too heavy for me. Because of the Lord’s grace and promises I know they are not. I do not write this blog because I’ve somehow figured out how to persevere under trial. I write this blog to remind myself (and hopefully others) of the strength and assurance everyone is offered through Jesus Christ.
In the darkest parts of this valley I often find myself re-reading past posts and it soothes my soul as I remember how the Lord has carried me. I do pray that somehow the Lord will use my journey to point others to Himself but also know that if I’m the only reader it’s helping me to press on.
Psalm 9:9-10 “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
Chronic Fatigue + Desire For Organization = Sanctification
I have a burning desire to be organized. Unfortunately my body doesn’t cooperate and I do well to accomplish the basics (laundry, cooking dinner and maybe a clean bathroom every few weeks). Lately I’ve let this frustration take hold of me all too often. I sinfully allow my desire for order in my home to become an idol and find myself anxiety ridden and frustrated even though I don’t have the energy to accomplish more than I’m doing. Lord, help me to be controlled by your desires and not my own and to find contentment in you.
Today I am taking comfort in the words of this hymn by Frances Havergal – thank you Lord for your perfect peace!
Like a River Glorious
“Like a river glorious is God’s perfect peace, over all victorious in its bright increase: perfect, yet it floweth fuller every day, perfect, yet it groweth deeper all the way.
Hidden in the hollow of his blessed hand, never foe can follow, never traitor stand; not a surge of worry, not a shade of care, not a blast of hurry touch the spirit there.
Every joy or trial falleth from above, traced upon our dial by the Sun of Love; we may trust him fully all for us to do; they who trust him wholly find him wholly true.
Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blessed, finding as he promised, perfect peace and rest.”
Humbled In The Chaos
The Lord opened up a wonderful ministry opportunity for Keith and I that involved traveling to FL for a month this summer. Afterwards we visited our families in SC, NC and VA and hosted some friends from out of town shortly after our return. This week we were forced to stay at friends’ houses until our air conditioner could be replaced (it died last weekend). All this to say things have been chaotic and we are craving “normalcy.”
While feeling discouraged/weary this week I was reminded/challenged by 3 things:
1. My home is in heaven. I am WAY too comfortable here on this earth and shouldn’t depend on physical earthly comforts to revive my soul. Only Christ alone can be my foundation and can satisfy a weary soul. No matter what my circumstances bring my soul can be at rest.
2. If I were to heed the advise of Edward’s (see previous post) I would’ve realized earlier that this trial is an opportunity to enrich my soul. I almost “let slip” this season of enrichment.
3. Although I don’t deserve anything, the Lord has blessed me abundantly. I have a place to lay my head while on this earth – unlike Jesus Christ who deserved one but did not (Luke 9:58).
Lord, please help me to use every moment to enrich my soul and to lean on you completely for peace and rest!
Prudence – Concerning the Soul
I recently came across this quote by Jonathan Edwards while reading his sermon titled “Pressing into the Kingdom of God.” It served as a great reminder that each day and every circumstance is an opportunity given to me by the Lord to enrich my soul. I was reminded that even trials are opportunities to “Press into the Kingdom” with all my might. I was convicted as I reflected on my shortcomings and often nonchalant/selfish attitude about my day. I pray this quote would do the same for you.
“If you would have spiritual prosperity, you must exercise prudence in the concerns of your souls, as well as in outward concerns, when you seek outward prosperity. The prudent husbandman will observe his opportunities; he will improve seedtime and harvest; he will make his advantage of the showers and shines of heaven. The prudent merchant will discern his opportunities; he won’t be idle on a market day; he is careful not to let slip his seasons for enriching himself; so will those that prudently seek the fruits of righteousness, and the merchandise of wisdom, improve their opportunities for their eternal wealth and happiness.”
“For the former things have passed away”
In this world I often feel as if my fight against sin is unending and I feel weary from the battle. In these moments the phrase “for the former things have passed away” (Rev. 21:5) serves as a reminder to my soul that the end is in sight. Soon we will know what it means to be holy and no longer fight. I wonder what this peace will feel like? Can you imagine how much more energy we will have to glorify the Lord as opposed to being bogged down by this burdensome weight? Come quickly Lord Jesus that we may bask in your Holiness – that which we don’t deserve but which you offer to those who love you!
Revelation 21:1-5 “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
Our main concern – Eternity
Sometimes in this life I get so distracted, living as if I own my time and disregarding what God’s word tells me about eternity. The truth is we are all bound for an eternal place, whether it’s heaven (life with Christ) or hell (suffering without Christ).
In his sermon “The Many Mansions” Jonathan Edwards explains that eternity should be our main concern here on earth. “Therefore let it be your main care to secure an everlasting habitation for hereafter.” God’s word tells us that if we repentant of our sins and follow Jesus Christ we will live in eternity with Him – this is the greatest gift we could ever ask for! Which eternal dwelling are you headed for?
John 3:35-36 “The Father loves the Son and has placed everything in his hands. Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on him.”
I Thessalonians 4:16-18 “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words.”
“My yoke is easy and my burden is light”
I am almost finished with the book “Running Scared: Fear, Worry and the God of Rest” by Ed Welch and have been continually challenged and encouraged. The book has been such a timely reminder to me of the importance of talking with the Lord about our burdens. I so often carry an unnecessary load of concerns throughout my day when I am called to lay them at the feet of my Lord and allow Him to carry them for me. What a blessing it is to serve a God who cares and wants to know about our fears and concerns!
Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
1 Peter 5:5-7 “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Discontent?
Sometimes in life I find myself fighting for contentment. Although I think as sinful creatures this is inevitably a place we will at times find ourselves, it’s important to remember that at the heart of discontentment is a heart that questions God. It ultimately says “Lord, I’m not happy with where you have brought me” and cries out “why?” Although the Lord desires us to talk with and bring our concerns to Him, discontentment is not a place where we should dwell. Not only are we called to joyful obedience we are also equipped with everything we need to live faithful lives that bring glory to our heavenly Father.
2 Peter 1:3-8 “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Eternity, His Glory and My humility
One of the wonderful joys of Christian living is that we serve a God who delights in us and desires to help us understand Himself better. Over the past year and a half I have experienced this in an overwhelming way. After realizing that my view of heaven/eternal life was quite feeble and even a source of anxiety for my soul, I began to ask the Lord for a better understanding of Heaven. I asked Him to fill me with a deep longing for this place and once again I have been overwhelmed by His faithfulness.
During the process I was extremely humbled as the Lord convicted me that the reason I didn’t long for Heaven was that I didn’t love Him enough. The Lord showed me that a longing for Heaven is actually a longing for His glory and renown!
The Lord is faithfully answering my prayers by growing my love for Himself and His glory (although my love will always be inadequate for such a glorious God!). He has specifically answered my prayers by filling me with a deep longing to live with Him in eternity. I no longer fear the thought of eternity but yearn to be with my Heavenly Father who is the fulfillment of every need I have.
Psalm 108:1-5 “My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul. Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, and let your glory be over all the earth.”
Unchangeable
As I anticipate spring and the changes to come I am reminded of two things. First, I am constantly changing and so is everything around me. Seasons, circumstances, friendships, trials, desires, battles with sin/temptations, and symptoms are all examples of things in life that change.
Although change can often be wonderful, such as the Lord’s sanctifying work in someone’s life, I am thankful that the God I serve is immutable (my 2nd reminder). God’s unchangeable character is a true source of daily comfort and joy. No matter how I’m feeling or what circumstances I face, God is constant. He is constant in His love, grace, character, promises, truth, justice and mercy. Find hope and comfort in the immutable God!
Malachi 3:6 “I the LORD do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. Ever since the time of your forefathers you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the LORD Almighty.”
Numbers 23:19 “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.”
James 1:17 “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
Hebrews 6:13-20 ” When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, saying, “I will surely bless you and give you many descendants.” And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised. Men swear by someone greater than themselves, and the oath confirms what is said and puts an end to all argument. Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.”
Like a child
After experiencing a baby dedication at church yesterday I was reminded of the importance of reliance on Christ. We are called to approach Christ for every need just as a child depends on his/her parents. I often struggle unnecessarily because I depend on myself or others to meet my needs. Our sin hinders the life of peace and joy that are ours “for the taking” if we would only trust entirely upon Christ.
Matthew 6:25-34 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 18:3-4 “And he said: ‘I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.’”
Hebrews 4:15-16 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it!
While folding laundry tonight, after a difficult day, due to an almost sleepless night, these familiar words (from the hymn “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing”) came to mind: “Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love!”
It’s humbling to me just how easily my thoughts and emotions can wander as a result of my circumstances. The rest of the verse is my prayer today, “Here’s my heart, O, take and seal it; seal it for thy courts above.”
“Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.
Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I’ll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.”
Robert Robinson – 1758
